LOVECHILD, NEVER MEANT TO BE.

Twice in my life the result of a basketball game has left me feeling physically ill. UC's loss to West Virginia on a banked-in three by Jarrod West in the 1998 NCAA Tournament left me unable to eat for two days. Gerry McNamara's three to beat the Bearcats in the 2006 Big East Tournament at the Garden literally had me on the verge of vomiting.

If those two games met at a bar, started making out, went home with each other, didn't use protection, and ended up accidentally reproducing, last night's game would've been their lovechild.

I couldn't be sicker to my stomach if I saw Bob Huggins naked. Seriously, for about two hours after the game, I literally felt like I was going to throw up. Perhaps in a tribute to last night's winning coach, I could've gone outside, opened the door to my car, and thrown up on it.

(Sorry, I'm bitter)

Most Bearcat fans can recite the names of players who've beaten UC with a buzzer beater....Miles Simon, Lenny Brown, West, Antonio Grant, McNamara. Those players all have permanent residence is some circle of Bearcat hell, but last night De'Sean Butler might've discovered a tenth, hopefully hotter, hopefully more miserable circle.

I feel like De'Sean Butler took that stupid Mountaineers's musket and beat me with it while his buddy Dion Dixon held me down.

It would've just bee easier if the game turned out like it looked like it was going to. WVU led 18-4. UC missed their first ten shots. They looked winded and flat, and I think most of use could've easily resigned ourselves to a nice, comfortable thrashing at the hands of the Mountaineers.

But no, somehow, through a combination of sheer guts, defense, some halfway decent coaching, and sheer WVU offensive ineptitude, UC, like the fat ugly chick who's friends with the hot girl you want to make out with, just kept hanging around. Even after Jerry West's f***ing kid (no nepotism there, I'm sure) nailed a three before the half, the fact that UC was down by only three felt like a minor victory and a small miracle.

Not satisfied with their first half offensive offensive display, UC attempted to turn their bricklaying up a notch, missing their first eight shots of the second half. Amazingly though, when Yancy Gates made a bucket, eneding the drought more then seven minutes into the half, UC trailed by just six.

This was ugly basketball. So ugly, the Big Ten Network has actually requested a tape of the game. They plan on blocking out the Big East logos and showing it on Big Ten Classics this summer.

It was ugly. It was also kinda inspiring.

Here's where you cannot give the Bearcats enough credit. In spite of themselves, against the sixth-ranked team in the country, with West Virginia the fresher team, UC would not go away. And, finally, in the last ten minutes, you could almost hear Lance Stephenson say to himself "screw it, screw these guys, screw this game, I'm winning it." We've waited all season for him to say that to himself. Lance almost single-handedly kep the Cats off life support. Twice, his team down nine and running on fumes, Lance made game-saving buckets. He pulls them within five with just over four to go. He hits Deonta in the corner for a three to make it a two point game (the "yeah m****f****R from Sharonville was audible in Reading). He attacked, he grabbed rebounds...aside from missing one of two free throws late, he was everything we've hoped he would be.

With 47 seconds left after WVU went up three on a broken play that just beat the shot clock...the type of play that always seems to go against Cincinnati, Lance tied the game at 51 with a three on a brilliantly designed play. Lance Stephenson, so bad from behind the arc all season, made one when he absolutely had to.

(The resulting scream, which weren't even words, just a group of yelps and unintelligle syllables, could be heard in Lima)

Months from now, when this game pops into my head, and it will often, I will think of three things...how this team wobbled all night, even hit the canvas a few times, but never took a ten count, and I'll think of Lance Stephenson. I'll grasp onto the idea that somehow in this tournament, Lance started figuring some things out, things that maybe, just maybe will mean he approaches those unrealistic expectations for him next season.

And I'll think of Dion Dixon.

Residing in some circle of Bearcat hell is Charles Williams...he of the dribble-the-ball-off the-foot-out-of-bounds-play against Xavier in November of 1996. Dion Dixon channeled him last night. Know how it is when your son borrows the car of wrecks it and he's just an emotional disaster and so you just feel awful for him, but at the same time he screwed up your car so you want to strangle him?

That's how I feel about Dion Dixon.

I can't imagine how that dude feels today. I feel for him because he shouldn't have been put in that position.

I get what they were trying to do...have Deonta inbound the ball, go streaking up the floor, and have the ball come right back to him. You want Deonta to have a running start. I get that Lance was doubleteamed, and unfortunately, motionless. But Dion Dixon? Really? You put the ball in his hands, with decisions to made in the most crucial possession of the season? Really?

The ball has to get to Lance or Deonta there. And if Lance is double teamed, and you insist on Vaughn making the pass, at least remember that this team has employed four point guards this season. Dion Dixon is not one of them. You've got to get the ball to those players with as few variables as possible...take away the chance that lesser experienced make bad decisions. Put the ball in the hands of the players who have handled it the most.

What sucks about that play, and that decision by Mick, was that, for many, it'll overshadow three games where Cronin coached his balls of. No, not every decision worked, but I think you'd have to really stretch to be overly critical of his performance in the Garden.

The Butler did his thing, in a play, that along with the aforementioned shot-clock-beating layup, typifies what it's like to root for this team. He banked in a three. Lance Stephenson, on a night where he did all he could, did all he could do prevent it. (You do wonder why the inbound pass wasn't guarded)

I did all I could to prevent myself from finding household cleaning products to swallow.

That game sucked. It sucked because of the way it ended. And it sucked because it makes official the fact that this team will not be going to the NCAA Tournament, which was the goal at the outset of the season. More was expected than 18-15, 7-11, and the NIT. The Selection Show will air, and yet again, it's not even a possibility that you'll see "Cincinnati" on the screen.

I'm angry about that. And I'm sick about the game and how it ended. But for today, for the first time since early January, I'm hopeful. Hopeful that whatever momentum they gained in New York can carry forward to the NIT, and from there, into next season. I'm hopeful, with some understandable reservations, but hopeful nonetheless that this team perhaps finally figured out how to play hard enough to win despite its warts while addressing its obvious offensive deficiences.

So there's anger. And there's some hope. And there's pride. I'm proud of what that team did for three days. Have they turned the corner? I have no idea. Are there issues? More than I care to count right now. But that team battled. They dealt with adversity for three days, they handled the suspension of a key player, stared down two NCAA Tournament teams, including one potential one seed, and had about a dozen opportunites to fold, and didn't. Right now, I can live with that. I feel like I have to ice down my nuts and I've got no appetite, proving I perhaps take this crap a little too seriously, but I can live with that.

THE RUNDOWN
Listen to the radio today. I'll be on it.

3:33 - C. Trent, from Goodyear. Reds Brewers for the first of what will feel like 271 times in 10.

-UC wins! Yay, right?
-Bengals offseason scorecard.
-Ben likes the ladies. Maybe a little too much.
-That dumb baseball realignment plan.
-For the hell of it, some old Jennifer Love Hewitt.

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CHAD. OCHOCINCO. CHAMPIONSHIP. RING.
All of those words appear in this story. Sadly, not for the reasons we want.

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OPENING DAY GUY, MEET YVONNE, DAWN, AND SHERRY
Opening Day guy, know how you'll likely stumble into Opening Day tickets because you know someone or your a client of someone, or you've just got to be seen at the ballpark on Opening Day because that's where everyone will be? All the while knowing you'll see, I don't know, maybe nine pitches. Do us a favor, skip it this year, swing by Foutain Square and give your tickets to people like Yvonne, Dawn, and Sherry here, who lined up on Fountain Square this morning for the 1,500 tickets that go on sale Saturday morning. Yvonne, Dawn, and Sherry would do almost anything for those tickets you so take for granted. Besides, it's close to places like Nada and other cool kid places you can go drink snobby beers at when you're done.

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Little kid in diapers v. cartwheeler foot. Cartwheeler foot wins.

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HERE'S THE BEST DUNK YOU'LL SEE ALL YEAR.
Denver's J.R. Smith with a pretty sweet 360. "Pretty sweet 360" makes me sound like I'm 15.

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Two from the Who Dey Rev guys...Free Agency ain't over. Keep Bobbie Williams. And yeah, Antonio Bryant is nice, but you can't help but think about what could have been.

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Here's a fat guy with a gun.

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Crap like this is why we need the NBA in Cincinnati.

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If I could pick one actor to have on the show, it would be Gary Busey.

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UK FANS: DO NOT USE THESE COACH CAL-THEMED PRODUCTS AT THE SAME TIME
You can get some Special Edition Coach Cal hooch and a sweet Coach Cal ride. There's Bob Huggins jokes here. You make them.

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WHY WOULD AROLDIS CHAPMAN WANT TO LEAVE THIS BEHIND?
This is a video of maybe the best baseball fight ever, in Cuba. I never understand why most guys who charge the mound don't take the bat with them.

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A FEW MO' THINGS, 3/11/10 EDITION
Audrina Patridge. It's been a while.

-Other than giving them a chance to play tonight, and maybe clinching their NIT berth, I'm not sure what last night's UC win meant, but I know that fewer things in life are as satisfying as a Bearcat win over Louisville.

Had the game turned out the way it looked like it would for a while, we'd be hammering Mick. Instead, during the second straight night his team faced numerous chances to fold, they didn't. They scratched, clawed, outhustled, and out-willed a team that, Edgar Sosa aside, looked most of the night like they would have rather been doing something else. Playing without one of their more important players, and falling behind by as many as 12, I didn't give them much of a chance of winning that game. I have a feeling I'm not alone. But they found away, kept hanging around, and finally the dominance on the glass, and the efforts of guys like Wilks, Gates, Parker, and Stephenson paid off. The win might not ultimately mean anything, but right now that doesn't make it any less satisfying.

Mick's gotten a ton of criticism this year. Most of it deserved. Fair is fair though. Dude has coached his balls off the last two nights. There's something to be said about the grit his team has shown the last two night.

While we're being fair...after a few weeks of getting some pretty heavy criticism, Yancy Gates outplayed Samardo Samuels. Was he a beast? No. Was he effective? Yup. And who's the Darnell Wilks guy? A useless part for three seasons, he's making jumpers, attacking the rim with confidence, and playing defense like he has never played before.

And I know Deonta will be the victim of some piling on today, and no, they probably can't win tonight with him being as ineffective as he was the last two nights, and sure it's disappointing to not be able to use him in key moments down the stretch, but as disappointing as that might be, I see a positive...there were other viable options. Parker gave you one. Wright, to a lesser extent did too. So did Wilks. Those players will be Bearcats next season.

And as disappointed, and I'm sure pissed as he was about being sat so much down the stretch, the dude still had mildly large impact in the final seconds. There is something to be said for that.

I just wrote six paragraphs about a Bearcat win. That felt good.

-Brandon Marshall > Antonio Bryant. But Antonio Bryant > Lavernaeus Coles. And Antonio Bryant > Andre Caldwell. And not to be disrespectful, Antonio Bryant > Chris Henry. The passing game needs an overhaul. An overhaul is not one guy. If the Bryant addition is the beginning of a series of well-thought out moves designed to improve the passing game, I don't know how you can't be on board with the move.

-I love Thursday - Sunday of next week. I even finagled next Friday off to begin three days of sequestered hoops watching. But I like today and tomorrow just as much.

-Opening Day. April 5th. Gameworks. 8am - Noon. Show up.

-This made me laugh. The language is very not safe for work.

-Torii Hunter said something stupid. This guy's reaction is dead-on.

-A friend of mine got caught texting a woman by his wife. There was really nothing sexual going on he claimed. The two were just friends, but this new "friend" was being hidden from his wife. She eventually forgave him, but remained, understandably, a little suspicious. About a year later, his wife found him texting with yet another female friend that she was unfamiliar with. Again, he claimed it was nothing sexual, they were just pals. His wife, as you might imagine, had a much harder time believing him this time. She still has doubts about her husband's activities, wonders how many other "friends" there are. Maybe he's just used poor judgement, and maybe he's really screwing around on his wife.

Maybe Ben Roethlisberger didn't sexually assault a woman in Georgia, or maybe he did. But isn't it just a little harder to believe Big Ben this time around?

-The owner of the Pacers was tagging his nanny? UPDATE: The story is not about the Pacers' owner tagging his nanny. This is what happens when you blog at 6:30am.

-Here's how to drink yourself healthy!

-Ahh, there's nothing like TV newsboys throwing hissy fits.

-Cindy Margolis. Still getting it done.

-Yeah, this movie looks pretty awesome. Might wanna watch this one at home.

-Just about every picture of me until the age of 12 could make this site.

-Have the Bearcats finally found an identity?

-Wow. Imagine a Steven Strasburg/Aroldis Chapman 1-2.

-This lady is worried about women's basketball because UConn is so good.

-Speaking of women's sports, there's this.

-The Breakfast Club Video Game will be the timewaster of the day.

-You also may want to watch this one in the privacy of your own home.

-Solid work by these gentlemen.

-Today's "hit play, turn up, and walk away" installment comes from some Dallas celebs singing for some Super Bowl XLV promo thingy. Nolan Ryan looks like he's enjoying himself a little more than I would've hoped.

-Here's how to get me to not want to see your movie.

-This is a good look at the impracticality of baseball's floating realignment plan.

-This is a good look at Roxanne Pallet.

ANTONIO BRYANT IS A BENGAL
Four years/28 million. No, he's the the reality TV star Terrell Owens is. He's also not Laveranues Coles. That's a good thing. We talked about how much this team missed Chris Henry simply for his ability to make life easier for Carson, Chad, and the other "weapons." If at the very least he could do that, and he does not trade DNA with Lavernaeus Coles, and at most, provides Carson with another person to consistently toss footballs too, I'm cool with this move.

Though I'd rather have Brandon Marshall.

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THE RUNDOWN
Hi there. Let's do a radio show today!

3:33: C. Trent from Goodyear. The pretend game continue, much like the pretend dates I had in college.
4:20 - Allen Wilson, Buffalo News. Covered T.O last year.
5:05 - Chris Mack. Coaches Xavier's men's basketball team.

Stuff.
-T.O. might come up. Does one year a good guy make?
-Baseball realignment might come up. Why is there an AL and an NL anymore?
-Conference tournaments might come up. I like them.
-The most disgusting drink ever might come up.
-Ben Roethlisberger might come up. I will compare him to a friend of mine who got caught not cheating on his girlfriend.
-Unnecessary apologies might come up. Derek Anderson had to offer one up.
-Lea Michell might come up. Insert your own bad "come up" joke here.

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MYTHBUSTING
There's a thought out there, that the better teams in the league don't draft wide receivers. OK. Would you consider the Titans, the Giants, the Vikings, the Eagles, Pittsburgh, Green Bay, New Orleans, San Diego, and the Colts among the better-run organizations in the NFL?

I mean, in the last four seasons, those teams have only combined for 19 playoff appearances, five Super Bowl appearances, and four championships. I'd say those teams know what they're doing more often than not.

Those teams, combined, have drafted eight wideouts in the first round over the last four drafts. In '08 when no wideout was taken in the first round, nine went in the second. Among the teams using picks on wideouts in the second round were three in the aforementioned group.

Has every player taken been really good? Of course not. Have some of those teams done well addressing the position later in the draft? Absolutely. But let's dismiss the notion that good teams simply wait for wideouts until later in the draft.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARRIE UNDERWOOD.
I got this tweet today....
How is that lance posted a picture of Carrie Underwood today for her b-day and you have neglected to do so? I'm disappointed.

Good call. First off, happy 27th birthday, Carrie. Second, Lance waits until her birthday to give her some love? What's taken so long? I've been on the Carrie bandwagon all along. One year out of 365 Lance puts down the Baseball Prospectus to pay homage to maybe the hottest woman in America and you're disappointed in me? I'm disappointed in him. This is like the people that go to Church only on Easter, or to the ballpark only on Opening Day. Carrie Underwood isn't someone who's talents should be celebrated once a year, she's a national treasure. Do we celebrate democracy once a year? Capitalism? The music of Bruce Springsteen? No, we honor them continuously, just as I have with Carrie. But ok, since it's Carrie's birthday, here you go....

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A FEW MO' THINGS, 3/10/10 EDITION
Christina Hendricks.

-Bearcats Win! Was it necessarily fun to watch? Not really. Did it mean anything? Probably not. Does this team's difficulty with closing out games suck the joy out of winning? You could say that? Know what though? The Bearcats won a conference tournament game. I haven't been able to say that for six years. The Bearcats won a game in March. I haven't been able to say that in four. When the Bearcats do that, despite a mountain of imperfections, it makes me happy.

I'd like to think that the brief stretch in the second half when Lance Stephenson decided to assert himself was the flicking on of the light for the kid.

I'd like to hope that Deonta Vaughn was saving whatever he didn't bring to the table last night for tonight.

Of course, I had been hoping that next year's most experienced senior was someone his team could count on. Apparently, Rashad Bishop had more important things to do than help his team win in New York.

-Flyers win! Now the mountain climb begins. Xavier on Friday. Not at UD Arena. Not good.

-T.O. is here! I get the sense more people are interested in T.O. The Celebrity than T.O. the football player. T.O The Celebrity is a celebrity more because of silliness and selfishness than catching footballs.

If I do mediocre radio shows for years (not a stretch) then do a week of listenable, compelling shows (a stretch), it does not make me a good talk show host. My entire body of work will be used against me, and deservedly so.

If Mick Cronin wins 23 games next season after four years of disappointment, it won't make him a great coach. His entire body of work will be used against him.

If Aaron Harang blows in his first 10 starts, then throws a shutout in his 11th, it won't make him a Cy Young candidate. His entire body of work will be used against him.

If Lady Gaga offers up unlistenable song after unlistenable song, then finally releases something that doesn't make me want to slice off my ears, it does not make him a great artist. His entire body of work will be used against him.

If Terrell Owens is an absolute team-killer for years and years on team after team, but for one year in Buffalo he behaves himself, it does not mean he's a good teammate or easy to coach. His entire body of work should be used against him.

-Good idea, Bud Selig, make your sport hard to follow. Good God, what's wrong with this man?

-Late on this....but here's a good look at the Big East Tournament.

-Ouch.

-Blasphemy! CBS is having Jennifer Hudson do One Shining Moment. Jennifer is a nice singer and all, but stop dicking with the song, go back to the Teddy Pendegrast version.

-Here are the 13 most violent things to ever happen at a McDonald's.

-Man, Bob Barker sure had a loose definition of the word "pretty."

-I, however, do not. That word applies to Kayden Kross.

THE RUNDOWN
It's warm outside.

3:35 - C. Trent, from Goodyear
5:40 - Paul Dehner, covers hoops for CNATI

....working on one or two others.

-Aroldis Chapman. Spring training is for dreaming. Let's dream. Though my dreams will also probably include Jules Asner.
-The hunt for a man to catch footballs from Carson Palmer continues.
-Mick says we might be expecting to much from Yancy.
-Ben Roethlisberger is a pud.
-Conference tournaments are awesome, and to an extent, more fun than next week, no?
-I need help with finding a partner for a good media feud.
-Should I pursue a career in beatboxing?

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HERE'S TO YOU, MISSY ROBINSON
I know, lame. Just look at the pictures.

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Antonio Bryant is here for a visit with the Bengals today. Two years ago, during his outstanding 2008 season, he addressed of some the issues he had in other places.

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YET, THEY'RE PASSING LAWS THAT PROHIBIT TEXTING AND DRIVING?
Some lady in Florida crashed her car because she was shaving her bikini area while driving. She was on her way to meet her boyfriend, and I guess she wanted to look well groomed. The problem I have with this is that the guy in the passenger seat was her ex-husband, who tried to take the wheel. When my parents got divorced, my parents wouldn't speak to each other for years, much less assist the other while they were cleaning up their junk.

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IT'S PRETTY COOL THAT HILARY SWANK FINALLY DECIDED TO LOOK HOT
This picture is from the Oscars, which I didn't watch. Not because I was on vacation, but because when I wanna watch rich people give each other reach arounds, I peer into luxury suites. However, I once did promise on this blog to post a picture of Hilary if/when she ever decided to look attractive. I am nothing if not a man of my word.

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Can you imagine what MMMMBop sounds like now that those kids from Hanson are still around?

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DENISE MILANI'S NEW 2010 PHOTOS
They look much like the 2009 photos. And the 2008 photos. You still want to see them.

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Good stuff here from some USAToday Major League Baseball committee. The postseason badly needs readjusting.

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Here's a really good ready if you're a UD fan. And if you're not, you can still read it and point and laugh at us.

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THANK YOU, MR. DOYEL.
Terrell Owens is a bad idea. My former partner explains why.

Look at the history:

-The Eagles go 6-10 with him in 2005. Owens leaves, and the Eagles improve to 10-6 with a playoff victory in '06.

-The Cowboys go 9-7 with him in 2008. Owens leaves, and the Cowboys improve to 11-5 with a playoff victory in '09.

-It works in reverse, too. The Bills go 7-9 without him in 2008. Owens arrives, and the Bills sink to 6-10. Now Owens is gone. Watch Buffalo go 8-8 or better in 2010.

The Bengals are a terrible fit for Owens, football-wise, and Rosenhaus knows it. Owens makes huge money, which means Rosenhaus makes huge money if T.O. has a huge year on the field. The Bengals are an offensively unimaginative team that prefers to give bullish back Cedric Benson 300 carries. Rosenhaus wants Owens in Cincinnati? Not really. He just wants Owens in the NFL, and Cincinnati is the only sucker willing to listen.

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This is a cool look at the difference 100 MPH makes. In pitching, not driving down 75.

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Introducing....the WineRack flask.

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HUH?
Mick Cronin says Yancy Gates isn't supposed to be that good. That's not what he said two years ago.

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MEET OLIVIA HENKEN
My buddy Nick, who helps run the highly entertaining UK/Louisville-centric blog StraitPinkie sent me this email.

If you could post the link below I would really appreciate. It is one of our local girls and I would like to get her as much exposure as possible.

OK, done. Here she is. Let's see how much exposure you'd like to get her. You know, radio reaches a lot of people. I learned that bey hearing those Cincinnati Radio Consortium ads. I say in-studio appearance, followed up by an appearance at our Gameworks broadcast on Opening Day, then an autograph signing in the Fan Zone at GABP. Make it happen, fellas.

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I NEED A FEUD
I'm reading this story on Bill Simmons v. Keith Olbermann, and I've started thinking that I need to get involved in a feud. Someone, ideally local, preferentially of some influence, and hopefully willing to feud with me. Should be someone in the media I guess, maybe TV, perhaps radio. Cutler would've been perfect for this. Lance has always had good feud potential. Maybe one of the guys on 700WLW? Perhaps a TV person? Is there a writer in town I could feud with? Help me here.

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VOTERS ARE STUPID
How is John Calipari not the SEC coach of the year? Why is recruiting, the most important aspect of a coach's job, overlooked, glossed over, or ignored?

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HIT PLAY, TURN UP, WALK AWAY
The first day back from vacation is tough...lotsa catching up to do, so I'll probably just fill the blog with the increasingly popular "hit play, turn up, and walk away" series of videos. Enjoy.

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A FEW MO' THINGS, 3/9/10 EDITION
I have returned. Here is Natalie Portman.

I have a lot to catch up on. This will be my attempt.

First, a review of Goodyear....
Yes, the ballpark is secluded, there's not much in the immediate vicinity of the training complex...yet. But it's a pretty awesome facility. Now my frame of reference is Ed Smith, as I have only been there, but I really have to imagine that the Reds spring home is among the best in baseball. The team's facilities and practice areas are exactly what you'd imagine a Major League team to have, and the stadium is intimate without feeling like a minor league park.

Best thing about going to Reds spring games....1) Phenomenal ballpark hot dog. Not the best I've had, that honor ironically goes to the dog as Chase Bank Field, but it's among the best I've scarfed down. 2) Good beer selection, though you might have to walk a little down the baselines to find the snob stuff. 3) The friendliest staff in the history of staffs. The staff working at Disney World is Nazi-esque compared to the people working in Goodyear. 4) A team shop that rivals what they sell at GABP. 5) The grassy knoll in left field is a great place to catch a mid-game nap.

As for the area, no, you won't find anything within walking distance of the park, but you're only about ten minutes away from a part of town called Avondale. (I think that's the name of it. Fortunately for all involved, I wasn't doing any driving and thus I was not concerned with what certain parts of town were called) In Avondale, you will find ever type of cheap eatery known to man. Plus, a movie theatre, a car wash, and some other stuff. Here were the culinary choices we made in Avondale...

1) #1 Brothers Pizza. I would recommend this place. Plus, pretty cheap draft beer.
2) A&W. The food sucked, but my friend Josh stole a mug from this place, which was more entertaining than it sounds.
3) In and Out Burger. Overrated, quite frankly.
4) IHOP. We ate here at 2:30 in the morning. The meal was forgettable, except than during our wait for pancakes, I named ever San Francisco Giants from 1986-'89.
5) Claim Jumper. Odd name for a restaurant, and not exactly cheap, though our waitress gave us about 150 candy root beer barrels which I left in our rental car upon drop off.

Other highlights from the trip...
*A Suns/Utah game. I've been to maybe 40 NBA games in my life. This was honestly one of the best three, with Utah making a huge fourth quarter comeback to win the game. You probably know my stance on the NBA by now. I wish we had a team. It would work. Build a good arena, stick it in a good downtown area, get a good owner, it would work. The Suns, who have the benefit of being there before the D-Backs, Cardinals, and Coyotes have done all that. I'm a bigger college fan, but after a season of watching Yancy Gates and Steve Toyloy, there's something to be said about watching a guy like Carlos Boozer operate in the post for the Jazz. And if you can't appreciate a Steve Nash v. Derron Williams matchup, you simply don't appreciate the game.

*The Suns dancers.

*Sunday's rainout. Happens. It rains in Florida too. Gave us a day to fill time. We did this by going to the Indian casino and enjoying company of Victoria the Blackjack Dealer who actually handed me some workable cards and by giving our friend Mark 20 bucks to stand in a large puddle of standing water on the road while my buddy drove through it.

*The trip to Glendale. Glendale is where the Cardinals play, and from Goodyear is maybe 20-25 minutes away. (Frankly, it could be four hours away and I wouldn't know. I have no sense of time when I'm on vacation and I tend to nod off whenever I'm a car passenger) Glendale has an area that is kinda like Newport on the Levee if Newport on the Levee was cool. It was a good night for douchebag watching, and really, what's vacation without douchebag watching? There should be a new rule that dicates that you are not allowed to dress like a UFC fighter unless you are one.

*We had two attractive flight attendants on our flights home. That's always a rare bonus.

*Oh yeah, the baseball. The rainout sliced our baseball watching schedule by a third, but we saw both Reds/Indians games, both losses. Spring training games, in and of themselves, are not for people like me. There is nothing as heavenly as sitting in the 73 degree sunshine in early March, sipping a cold one at a baseball game, but the games themselves frankly, have a hard time keeping my attention. The real ones begin in four weeks. I'll keep score when they matter. In Arizona, there were jokes to laugh at, people to watch, a ballpark to walk around, beer to drink, crap to buy, and middling minor leaguers warming up in the bullpen to harass. I paid attention enough to see Mike Leake and Travis Wood pitch well, I saw Mike Lincoln pitch like, well, Mike Lincoln. And I saw Joey Votto make a throwing error. I also yelled "Wight State, wrong school" at Cleveland Joe Smith, a Raider walk-on, and got a thumbs up from him.

Oh, and there was Aroldis Chapman.

I didn't seen him pitch. Though with our flight leaving shortly after 4:00 local time, I was tempted to try to see the first few innings just to watch him. He is though, the talk of Goodyear. Every conversation about spring training begins with a question about whether you'll be there long enough to see him pitch, or if you had a chance to see him throw on the side a little. A female friend of mine who also happened to be there saw him and reported to us that Chapman had nice teeth. I can verify this. He also was, to saw the least, mildly impressive yesterday. I know, there's a tendency to overreact...it's two innings against the Royals in early March with nothing on the line. Still though, can you imagine GABP for his first start if/when he somehow finds not only a roster spot, but a spot in the rotation? Think that's not in the back of the minds of Reds brass?

-One other thing from the trip. It involves the Suns game. Remember Cedric Ceballos? He was an All-Star in the mid-90s? Had some decent years for the Suns and the Lakers? He's now the Suns' PA guy. Sad. Not as sad as this.

-The Bengals are bringing Terrell Owens and Antonio Bryant in today. The T.O. debate has been raging for months now. It comes down to three things for me.
1) T.O. has out up some incredible numbers, first ballot Hall of Fame numbers. He's a physical specimen and in Philly offered up one of the moer heroic performances in Super Bowl history. He's also never been arrested, admirable anymore in today's NFL. And yet all of that takes a back seat to his reputation as a guy who destroys locker rooms, undermines coaches, and makes life miserable for his quarterbacks. Think about that...you've got a clean-living dude who's got the third most amount of receiving yards in the history of the game, and all the other crap is still more associated with him than any on-field greatness. That ain't good.
2) Drew Rosenhaus. Yes, he's Chad's agent. Yes, there's a likelihood that you'll end up, at some point filling your roster with more of his clients. He's also a walking headache.
3) There are other options. T.O's a noted malcontent. So is Antonio Bryant. Same for Brandon Marshall. But Marshall is the better player. Is he the lesser of the three evils? I have no idea, but Marshall is younger and more productive. He's the better of the three players, and yes even with him costing the team a first-round pick, the more worthwhile gamble.

-Mike Thomas says the "needle is headed in the right direction" when talking about bringing Mick Cronin back. Maybe. But as M.A.R.S. once said, put the needle on the record. It says 16-14. It says 12-14 after a 4-0 start, and it says 5-11 in the final 16 games of Big East play. It also points toward another Selection Sunday where I'll turn on channel 12 and know that I won't see the name of my favorite team on the screen.

-Jordan Crawford was not named A-10 Player of the Year. (As a consolation, he was named a Third-team All-American by The Sporting News) Richmond's Kevin Anderson is a really good player, but he's not in the same class as Jordan. The fact that an award was voted on by a group of coaches that inlcuded Derek Kellogg, Brian Gregory, Karl Hobbs, and the annally horrible coach at LaSalle and was screwed up should be no surprise.

-The most underrated week in sports began yesterday. I know conference tournaments have their critics, but nothing gears people up for next week more than this week, and can you really argue with something that has hoops on TV at noon today?

-There's a lot of coaches who wouldn't address what Jim Tressel did.

-If you read nothing else today, read this story (which I'm late on) about Newport's Mark Krebs, who got the start on Senior Day at Rupp.

-The "jump out to a good lead and them screw around for 20 minutes" script UK is following won't work this month. More urgency is needed.

-Ben Roethlisberger has now been accused by two women of sexual assault. I have no idea if he's guilty. I do have an idea about his judgement, decision-making, and downright intelligence and after sizing up the position he's put himself in, along with the idiocy of not wearing a helment when riding a motorcylce, I don't think think much of them.

-UD's collapse, which should be complete by Friday, should be no surprise. Same coach, same roster of athletes who no not possess fundamental basketball skills, familiar end-of-season result.

-I'm late on this Reds piece from Deadspin, but I like it.

-Here's the latest in the "Hit play, turn up, and walk away" series.

-Here's the latest in the "Bar Refaeli is really hot" series.

-I got an email from a guy by the name of Alex who wanted me to name today's blog post after Detlef Schrempf, with the added info that the mere mention of Detlef makes his privates tingle. I can't imagine what that, plus the added bonus of Detlef getting dunked on by Michael Jordan might do to him, but here you go, Alex.

Greetings from somewhere above Illinois. This is being written on the plane ride from Dayton to Phoenix. I'm off until Tuesday, going to Reds' spring training for my buddy Josh's bachelor party. Next week, I'll have plenty of thoughts on the arm angles of the pitchers we see, some zone rating projections, and a recap of our spring discussion on VORP.

Just kidding. That crap is boring. I'm going to drink beer, yell at baseball players, gamble, drink beer, sleep, and drink some more beer.

Nick Brunker will fill the time on ESPN1530, and since I've learned not to drink and blog, there will no blogging while I'm out. I will however, leave you with this to fill the void.

THE THIRD ANNUAL ANTI-CINCINNATI MAGAZINE DINING GUIDE
(AKA: The Mo Egger Top Ten)
This began in 2008, and continued last year, as a response to Cincinnati Magazine's rather stuffy guide to the best places to eat in town. Frankly, their list caters to, well, snobs. The people you see in luxury boxes at games like the places their list. Their 2010 Best Restaurants issue just came out.

Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a nice meal at a fancy joint. The food editor of Cincinnati Magazine took me to one of the spots on her list last year, and the food was really, really good. It also forced me to forego making a car payment that month.

Even after sharing two meals with the woman in charge of the list, one at one of her places, the other at one of mine, I'm still not sure of their criteria. Mine is simple....I must be able to pronounce the items on the menu, they must serve beer, they must have TVs, the food must be affordable, and they must have no dress code. I don't entirely eliminate chains, but it must be a locally owned chain. There's exceptions, but the food must be overwhelmingly good, and fairly priced for us to overlook violations of the criteria. Basically, you've got to cater to normal people, the guy in the moon deck, not the guy in the suite.

Also, if Guy Fieri and Food Network show up, you're off the list. For good.

I've included links to websites if the place has one.

Here goes....

10. The Century Inn in Woodlawn. I'll admit, the first couple of times I went to the Century Inn, I didn't like it. I can''t pinpoint the reason, I just didn't. It's grown on me, to the point that I now consider the Century Inn Sunday Night Fried Chicken to be slightly better than my grandmothers, which is praise that only those really close to me understand. I actually can't believe I just wrote that someone's fried chicken is better than my grandmother's. The Century Inn is a great place to go in the summer, with a large outdoor patio, to sit back and have a cold beer or four while you watch people play cornhole.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

9. The Indian Mound in Norwood. The menu is as basic as it gets...burgers, some sandwiches, a soup, and some very, very good wings. More than anything, the Mound is just a great place to drink. First off, the lights stay on, so you know what you're dealing with. The bartenders are really, really friendly. The jukebox has Springsteen's Greatest Hits, and the douchebag quotient tends to be very, very low. There's no cover charge, none of that pretentious crap the downtown places offer up, and on a given night, you can get the nightly special, which includes an entrée, fries, and a beer for about six bucks. Top that. Added bonus...the last time I went there we saw about six ladies in their 70s playing bridge.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

8) The Tousey House in Burlington. OK, so this place is just slightly froo-froo (or is it frou-frou? frough-frough?), the décor is just a little high-end (I just used the word décor. That's a problem) and the bar, while good, is small. Here's why it makes the list?.the single best pork chop I have ever eaten. They've got other stuff. It's owned by the same people who own the Greyhound, so the chicken is good, but I'm telling you, get the pork chop.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

7) Herb and Thelma's in Covington. Those places in the places Cincinnati Magazine lists have executive chefs, who are always studying the culinary arts, trying to expand palates and develop new creations. It's like their on an endless quest for the perfect dish. Meanwhile, behind the bar at Herb and Thelma's, Chip keeps cranking out burgers and fried bologna sandwiches with sides of cold beer. And he still runs circles around those executive chefs.
Last year's ranking: 4th

6) The Gas Light Cafe in Pleasant Ridge. I once went to the Gaslight and ordered a BLT. I told the lady to be generous with the bacon. She asked me how many pieces I wanted. I told her about ten to twelve. She brought me a sandwich with 20. Please don't tell Andre Smith about this place. The onion rings are tremendous as well.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

5) Quatman Cafe in Norwood. This place has grown on me. They follow a simple formula....good burger, served quick by a friendly person, and for some reason, the draft Hudy Delight at Quatman actually tastes somewhat decent. Plus, when you pay, you're on the honor system. These guys make a seriously good burger.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

4) Fratelli's Pizzeria in West Chester. I am a pizza snob. I have little tolerance for chain pizza, especially one certain local chain that specializes in pizza that oddly smells like feet. Fratelli's makes the best pizza in Cincinnati, and the more I look for someplace to give it a run for it's money, the wider the gap grows. Bonus points....my buddies and I stopped in one day last summer, after a long day of helping someone move. We were starving and ready to crush some pizza and down a few pitchers of beer, but had just missed closing time. They kept the joint open for us. Not that many places would be willing to do that.
Last year's ranking: 2nd

3) The Ludlow-Bromley Yacht Club in Ludlow. THE place to be on summer Monday nights, when you grill your own steak. THE place to be to sit back, drink a bucket of beer, and watch the boats, dreaming of how cool it must be to be a barge captain. THE place to people watch. Frankly, THE place to be if you want to cougar hunt on the weekends.
Last year's ranking: 5th

2) Terry's Turf Club. Best burger you will ever eat. I'm done arguing this with people. This place is tiny, and has almost become too popular for its own good. Used to be you'd go and stand there and wait forever to get a table. I think the waits have scared some people off. The last six or so times I've been there was no wait. I'm not really sure I'm complaining, but still. Anyway, no matter the wait, it's worth it. Bonus points for the fliet mignon chili. That sounds aristocratic. It's not. More bonus points for having Tony the bartender. Dude's a badass.
Last year's ranking: 3rd

1) The Silver Spring House in Blue Ash. That's right, for the third year in a row, it takes the top spot. I've been going for nine years on a very regular basis. I've gotten just one item on their menu. Spring House chicken (it's baked), with a side of onion rings, a salad, and a cold one. It's perfect for a group of guys, or a date, or even if you're flying solo. There's usually great scenery, very friendly service, and has evolved into a pretty good place to watch games. I've been beating their drum for a long time. If you've haven't gone by now, do yourself a favor and go. Tonight.
Last year's ranking: 1st

Dropped off last year's list: Silverton Cafe, The Sharonville Root Beer Stand, Fort Wright Family Restaurant, Sugar and Spice, and Marion's Piazza. Those places are still worth going to, they've just been passed. Happens.

Real quick honorable mention...Behle Street Cafe in Covington. The have the best pasta in town. I worked their for two years. It's a great place to drink. I just can't include on a top ten list any place that has regular wine tastings.