THE RUNDOWN
It's warm outside.

3:35 - C. Trent, from Goodyear
5:40 - Paul Dehner, covers hoops for CNATI

....working on one or two others.

-Aroldis Chapman. Spring training is for dreaming. Let's dream. Though my dreams will also probably include Jules Asner.
-The hunt for a man to catch footballs from Carson Palmer continues.
-Mick says we might be expecting to much from Yancy.
-Ben Roethlisberger is a pud.
-Conference tournaments are awesome, and to an extent, more fun than next week, no?
-I need help with finding a partner for a good media feud.
-Should I pursue a career in beatboxing?

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HERE'S TO YOU, MISSY ROBINSON
I know, lame. Just look at the pictures.

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Antonio Bryant is here for a visit with the Bengals today. Two years ago, during his outstanding 2008 season, he addressed of some the issues he had in other places.

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YET, THEY'RE PASSING LAWS THAT PROHIBIT TEXTING AND DRIVING?
Some lady in Florida crashed her car because she was shaving her bikini area while driving. She was on her way to meet her boyfriend, and I guess she wanted to look well groomed. The problem I have with this is that the guy in the passenger seat was her ex-husband, who tried to take the wheel. When my parents got divorced, my parents wouldn't speak to each other for years, much less assist the other while they were cleaning up their junk.

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IT'S PRETTY COOL THAT HILARY SWANK FINALLY DECIDED TO LOOK HOT
This picture is from the Oscars, which I didn't watch. Not because I was on vacation, but because when I wanna watch rich people give each other reach arounds, I peer into luxury suites. However, I once did promise on this blog to post a picture of Hilary if/when she ever decided to look attractive. I am nothing if not a man of my word.

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Can you imagine what MMMMBop sounds like now that those kids from Hanson are still around?

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DENISE MILANI'S NEW 2010 PHOTOS
They look much like the 2009 photos. And the 2008 photos. You still want to see them.

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Good stuff here from some USAToday Major League Baseball committee. The postseason badly needs readjusting.

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Here's a really good ready if you're a UD fan. And if you're not, you can still read it and point and laugh at us.

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THANK YOU, MR. DOYEL.
Terrell Owens is a bad idea. My former partner explains why.

Look at the history:

-The Eagles go 6-10 with him in 2005. Owens leaves, and the Eagles improve to 10-6 with a playoff victory in '06.

-The Cowboys go 9-7 with him in 2008. Owens leaves, and the Cowboys improve to 11-5 with a playoff victory in '09.

-It works in reverse, too. The Bills go 7-9 without him in 2008. Owens arrives, and the Bills sink to 6-10. Now Owens is gone. Watch Buffalo go 8-8 or better in 2010.

The Bengals are a terrible fit for Owens, football-wise, and Rosenhaus knows it. Owens makes huge money, which means Rosenhaus makes huge money if T.O. has a huge year on the field. The Bengals are an offensively unimaginative team that prefers to give bullish back Cedric Benson 300 carries. Rosenhaus wants Owens in Cincinnati? Not really. He just wants Owens in the NFL, and Cincinnati is the only sucker willing to listen.

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This is a cool look at the difference 100 MPH makes. In pitching, not driving down 75.

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Introducing....the WineRack flask.

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HUH?
Mick Cronin says Yancy Gates isn't supposed to be that good. That's not what he said two years ago.

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MEET OLIVIA HENKEN
My buddy Nick, who helps run the highly entertaining UK/Louisville-centric blog StraitPinkie sent me this email.

If you could post the link below I would really appreciate. It is one of our local girls and I would like to get her as much exposure as possible.

OK, done. Here she is. Let's see how much exposure you'd like to get her. You know, radio reaches a lot of people. I learned that bey hearing those Cincinnati Radio Consortium ads. I say in-studio appearance, followed up by an appearance at our Gameworks broadcast on Opening Day, then an autograph signing in the Fan Zone at GABP. Make it happen, fellas.

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I NEED A FEUD
I'm reading this story on Bill Simmons v. Keith Olbermann, and I've started thinking that I need to get involved in a feud. Someone, ideally local, preferentially of some influence, and hopefully willing to feud with me. Should be someone in the media I guess, maybe TV, perhaps radio. Cutler would've been perfect for this. Lance has always had good feud potential. Maybe one of the guys on 700WLW? Perhaps a TV person? Is there a writer in town I could feud with? Help me here.

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VOTERS ARE STUPID
How is John Calipari not the SEC coach of the year? Why is recruiting, the most important aspect of a coach's job, overlooked, glossed over, or ignored?

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HIT PLAY, TURN UP, WALK AWAY
The first day back from vacation is tough...lotsa catching up to do, so I'll probably just fill the blog with the increasingly popular "hit play, turn up, and walk away" series of videos. Enjoy.

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A FEW MO' THINGS, 3/9/10 EDITION
I have returned. Here is Natalie Portman.

I have a lot to catch up on. This will be my attempt.

First, a review of Goodyear....
Yes, the ballpark is secluded, there's not much in the immediate vicinity of the training complex...yet. But it's a pretty awesome facility. Now my frame of reference is Ed Smith, as I have only been there, but I really have to imagine that the Reds spring home is among the best in baseball. The team's facilities and practice areas are exactly what you'd imagine a Major League team to have, and the stadium is intimate without feeling like a minor league park.

Best thing about going to Reds spring games....1) Phenomenal ballpark hot dog. Not the best I've had, that honor ironically goes to the dog as Chase Bank Field, but it's among the best I've scarfed down. 2) Good beer selection, though you might have to walk a little down the baselines to find the snob stuff. 3) The friendliest staff in the history of staffs. The staff working at Disney World is Nazi-esque compared to the people working in Goodyear. 4) A team shop that rivals what they sell at GABP. 5) The grassy knoll in left field is a great place to catch a mid-game nap.

As for the area, no, you won't find anything within walking distance of the park, but you're only about ten minutes away from a part of town called Avondale. (I think that's the name of it. Fortunately for all involved, I wasn't doing any driving and thus I was not concerned with what certain parts of town were called) In Avondale, you will find ever type of cheap eatery known to man. Plus, a movie theatre, a car wash, and some other stuff. Here were the culinary choices we made in Avondale...

1) #1 Brothers Pizza. I would recommend this place. Plus, pretty cheap draft beer.
2) A&W. The food sucked, but my friend Josh stole a mug from this place, which was more entertaining than it sounds.
3) In and Out Burger. Overrated, quite frankly.
4) IHOP. We ate here at 2:30 in the morning. The meal was forgettable, except than during our wait for pancakes, I named ever San Francisco Giants from 1986-'89.
5) Claim Jumper. Odd name for a restaurant, and not exactly cheap, though our waitress gave us about 150 candy root beer barrels which I left in our rental car upon drop off.

Other highlights from the trip...
*A Suns/Utah game. I've been to maybe 40 NBA games in my life. This was honestly one of the best three, with Utah making a huge fourth quarter comeback to win the game. You probably know my stance on the NBA by now. I wish we had a team. It would work. Build a good arena, stick it in a good downtown area, get a good owner, it would work. The Suns, who have the benefit of being there before the D-Backs, Cardinals, and Coyotes have done all that. I'm a bigger college fan, but after a season of watching Yancy Gates and Steve Toyloy, there's something to be said about watching a guy like Carlos Boozer operate in the post for the Jazz. And if you can't appreciate a Steve Nash v. Derron Williams matchup, you simply don't appreciate the game.

*The Suns dancers.

*Sunday's rainout. Happens. It rains in Florida too. Gave us a day to fill time. We did this by going to the Indian casino and enjoying company of Victoria the Blackjack Dealer who actually handed me some workable cards and by giving our friend Mark 20 bucks to stand in a large puddle of standing water on the road while my buddy drove through it.

*The trip to Glendale. Glendale is where the Cardinals play, and from Goodyear is maybe 20-25 minutes away. (Frankly, it could be four hours away and I wouldn't know. I have no sense of time when I'm on vacation and I tend to nod off whenever I'm a car passenger) Glendale has an area that is kinda like Newport on the Levee if Newport on the Levee was cool. It was a good night for douchebag watching, and really, what's vacation without douchebag watching? There should be a new rule that dicates that you are not allowed to dress like a UFC fighter unless you are one.

*We had two attractive flight attendants on our flights home. That's always a rare bonus.

*Oh yeah, the baseball. The rainout sliced our baseball watching schedule by a third, but we saw both Reds/Indians games, both losses. Spring training games, in and of themselves, are not for people like me. There is nothing as heavenly as sitting in the 73 degree sunshine in early March, sipping a cold one at a baseball game, but the games themselves frankly, have a hard time keeping my attention. The real ones begin in four weeks. I'll keep score when they matter. In Arizona, there were jokes to laugh at, people to watch, a ballpark to walk around, beer to drink, crap to buy, and middling minor leaguers warming up in the bullpen to harass. I paid attention enough to see Mike Leake and Travis Wood pitch well, I saw Mike Lincoln pitch like, well, Mike Lincoln. And I saw Joey Votto make a throwing error. I also yelled "Wight State, wrong school" at Cleveland Joe Smith, a Raider walk-on, and got a thumbs up from him.

Oh, and there was Aroldis Chapman.

I didn't seen him pitch. Though with our flight leaving shortly after 4:00 local time, I was tempted to try to see the first few innings just to watch him. He is though, the talk of Goodyear. Every conversation about spring training begins with a question about whether you'll be there long enough to see him pitch, or if you had a chance to see him throw on the side a little. A female friend of mine who also happened to be there saw him and reported to us that Chapman had nice teeth. I can verify this. He also was, to saw the least, mildly impressive yesterday. I know, there's a tendency to overreact...it's two innings against the Royals in early March with nothing on the line. Still though, can you imagine GABP for his first start if/when he somehow finds not only a roster spot, but a spot in the rotation? Think that's not in the back of the minds of Reds brass?

-One other thing from the trip. It involves the Suns game. Remember Cedric Ceballos? He was an All-Star in the mid-90s? Had some decent years for the Suns and the Lakers? He's now the Suns' PA guy. Sad. Not as sad as this.

-The Bengals are bringing Terrell Owens and Antonio Bryant in today. The T.O. debate has been raging for months now. It comes down to three things for me.
1) T.O. has out up some incredible numbers, first ballot Hall of Fame numbers. He's a physical specimen and in Philly offered up one of the moer heroic performances in Super Bowl history. He's also never been arrested, admirable anymore in today's NFL. And yet all of that takes a back seat to his reputation as a guy who destroys locker rooms, undermines coaches, and makes life miserable for his quarterbacks. Think about that...you've got a clean-living dude who's got the third most amount of receiving yards in the history of the game, and all the other crap is still more associated with him than any on-field greatness. That ain't good.
2) Drew Rosenhaus. Yes, he's Chad's agent. Yes, there's a likelihood that you'll end up, at some point filling your roster with more of his clients. He's also a walking headache.
3) There are other options. T.O's a noted malcontent. So is Antonio Bryant. Same for Brandon Marshall. But Marshall is the better player. Is he the lesser of the three evils? I have no idea, but Marshall is younger and more productive. He's the better of the three players, and yes even with him costing the team a first-round pick, the more worthwhile gamble.

-Mike Thomas says the "needle is headed in the right direction" when talking about bringing Mick Cronin back. Maybe. But as M.A.R.S. once said, put the needle on the record. It says 16-14. It says 12-14 after a 4-0 start, and it says 5-11 in the final 16 games of Big East play. It also points toward another Selection Sunday where I'll turn on channel 12 and know that I won't see the name of my favorite team on the screen.

-Jordan Crawford was not named A-10 Player of the Year. (As a consolation, he was named a Third-team All-American by The Sporting News) Richmond's Kevin Anderson is a really good player, but he's not in the same class as Jordan. The fact that an award was voted on by a group of coaches that inlcuded Derek Kellogg, Brian Gregory, Karl Hobbs, and the annally horrible coach at LaSalle and was screwed up should be no surprise.

-The most underrated week in sports began yesterday. I know conference tournaments have their critics, but nothing gears people up for next week more than this week, and can you really argue with something that has hoops on TV at noon today?

-There's a lot of coaches who wouldn't address what Jim Tressel did.

-If you read nothing else today, read this story (which I'm late on) about Newport's Mark Krebs, who got the start on Senior Day at Rupp.

-The "jump out to a good lead and them screw around for 20 minutes" script UK is following won't work this month. More urgency is needed.

-Ben Roethlisberger has now been accused by two women of sexual assault. I have no idea if he's guilty. I do have an idea about his judgement, decision-making, and downright intelligence and after sizing up the position he's put himself in, along with the idiocy of not wearing a helment when riding a motorcylce, I don't think think much of them.

-UD's collapse, which should be complete by Friday, should be no surprise. Same coach, same roster of athletes who no not possess fundamental basketball skills, familiar end-of-season result.

-I'm late on this Reds piece from Deadspin, but I like it.

-Here's the latest in the "Hit play, turn up, and walk away" series.

-Here's the latest in the "Bar Refaeli is really hot" series.

-I got an email from a guy by the name of Alex who wanted me to name today's blog post after Detlef Schrempf, with the added info that the mere mention of Detlef makes his privates tingle. I can't imagine what that, plus the added bonus of Detlef getting dunked on by Michael Jordan might do to him, but here you go, Alex.

Greetings from somewhere above Illinois. This is being written on the plane ride from Dayton to Phoenix. I'm off until Tuesday, going to Reds' spring training for my buddy Josh's bachelor party. Next week, I'll have plenty of thoughts on the arm angles of the pitchers we see, some zone rating projections, and a recap of our spring discussion on VORP.

Just kidding. That crap is boring. I'm going to drink beer, yell at baseball players, gamble, drink beer, sleep, and drink some more beer.

Nick Brunker will fill the time on ESPN1530, and since I've learned not to drink and blog, there will no blogging while I'm out. I will however, leave you with this to fill the void.

THE THIRD ANNUAL ANTI-CINCINNATI MAGAZINE DINING GUIDE
(AKA: The Mo Egger Top Ten)
This began in 2008, and continued last year, as a response to Cincinnati Magazine's rather stuffy guide to the best places to eat in town. Frankly, their list caters to, well, snobs. The people you see in luxury boxes at games like the places their list. Their 2010 Best Restaurants issue just came out.

Don't get me wrong, I can appreciate a nice meal at a fancy joint. The food editor of Cincinnati Magazine took me to one of the spots on her list last year, and the food was really, really good. It also forced me to forego making a car payment that month.

Even after sharing two meals with the woman in charge of the list, one at one of her places, the other at one of mine, I'm still not sure of their criteria. Mine is simple....I must be able to pronounce the items on the menu, they must serve beer, they must have TVs, the food must be affordable, and they must have no dress code. I don't entirely eliminate chains, but it must be a locally owned chain. There's exceptions, but the food must be overwhelmingly good, and fairly priced for us to overlook violations of the criteria. Basically, you've got to cater to normal people, the guy in the moon deck, not the guy in the suite.

Also, if Guy Fieri and Food Network show up, you're off the list. For good.

I've included links to websites if the place has one.

Here goes....

10. The Century Inn in Woodlawn. I'll admit, the first couple of times I went to the Century Inn, I didn't like it. I can''t pinpoint the reason, I just didn't. It's grown on me, to the point that I now consider the Century Inn Sunday Night Fried Chicken to be slightly better than my grandmothers, which is praise that only those really close to me understand. I actually can't believe I just wrote that someone's fried chicken is better than my grandmother's. The Century Inn is a great place to go in the summer, with a large outdoor patio, to sit back and have a cold beer or four while you watch people play cornhole.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

9. The Indian Mound in Norwood. The menu is as basic as it gets...burgers, some sandwiches, a soup, and some very, very good wings. More than anything, the Mound is just a great place to drink. First off, the lights stay on, so you know what you're dealing with. The bartenders are really, really friendly. The jukebox has Springsteen's Greatest Hits, and the douchebag quotient tends to be very, very low. There's no cover charge, none of that pretentious crap the downtown places offer up, and on a given night, you can get the nightly special, which includes an entrée, fries, and a beer for about six bucks. Top that. Added bonus...the last time I went there we saw about six ladies in their 70s playing bridge.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

8) The Tousey House in Burlington. OK, so this place is just slightly froo-froo (or is it frou-frou? frough-frough?), the décor is just a little high-end (I just used the word décor. That's a problem) and the bar, while good, is small. Here's why it makes the list?.the single best pork chop I have ever eaten. They've got other stuff. It's owned by the same people who own the Greyhound, so the chicken is good, but I'm telling you, get the pork chop.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

7) Herb and Thelma's in Covington. Those places in the places Cincinnati Magazine lists have executive chefs, who are always studying the culinary arts, trying to expand palates and develop new creations. It's like their on an endless quest for the perfect dish. Meanwhile, behind the bar at Herb and Thelma's, Chip keeps cranking out burgers and fried bologna sandwiches with sides of cold beer. And he still runs circles around those executive chefs.
Last year's ranking: 4th

6) The Gas Light Cafe in Pleasant Ridge. I once went to the Gaslight and ordered a BLT. I told the lady to be generous with the bacon. She asked me how many pieces I wanted. I told her about ten to twelve. She brought me a sandwich with 20. Please don't tell Andre Smith about this place. The onion rings are tremendous as well.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

5) Quatman Cafe in Norwood. This place has grown on me. They follow a simple formula....good burger, served quick by a friendly person, and for some reason, the draft Hudy Delight at Quatman actually tastes somewhat decent. Plus, when you pay, you're on the honor system. These guys make a seriously good burger.
Last year's ranking: not on the list

4) Fratelli's Pizzeria in West Chester. I am a pizza snob. I have little tolerance for chain pizza, especially one certain local chain that specializes in pizza that oddly smells like feet. Fratelli's makes the best pizza in Cincinnati, and the more I look for someplace to give it a run for it's money, the wider the gap grows. Bonus points....my buddies and I stopped in one day last summer, after a long day of helping someone move. We were starving and ready to crush some pizza and down a few pitchers of beer, but had just missed closing time. They kept the joint open for us. Not that many places would be willing to do that.
Last year's ranking: 2nd

3) The Ludlow-Bromley Yacht Club in Ludlow. THE place to be on summer Monday nights, when you grill your own steak. THE place to be to sit back, drink a bucket of beer, and watch the boats, dreaming of how cool it must be to be a barge captain. THE place to people watch. Frankly, THE place to be if you want to cougar hunt on the weekends.
Last year's ranking: 5th

2) Terry's Turf Club. Best burger you will ever eat. I'm done arguing this with people. This place is tiny, and has almost become too popular for its own good. Used to be you'd go and stand there and wait forever to get a table. I think the waits have scared some people off. The last six or so times I've been there was no wait. I'm not really sure I'm complaining, but still. Anyway, no matter the wait, it's worth it. Bonus points for the fliet mignon chili. That sounds aristocratic. It's not. More bonus points for having Tony the bartender. Dude's a badass.
Last year's ranking: 3rd

1) The Silver Spring House in Blue Ash. That's right, for the third year in a row, it takes the top spot. I've been going for nine years on a very regular basis. I've gotten just one item on their menu. Spring House chicken (it's baked), with a side of onion rings, a salad, and a cold one. It's perfect for a group of guys, or a date, or even if you're flying solo. There's usually great scenery, very friendly service, and has evolved into a pretty good place to watch games. I've been beating their drum for a long time. If you've haven't gone by now, do yourself a favor and go. Tonight.
Last year's ranking: 1st

Dropped off last year's list: Silverton Cafe, The Sharonville Root Beer Stand, Fort Wright Family Restaurant, Sugar and Spice, and Marion's Piazza. Those places are still worth going to, they've just been passed. Happens.

Real quick honorable mention...Behle Street Cafe in Covington. The have the best pasta in town. I worked their for two years. It's a great place to drink. I just can't include on a top ten list any place that has regular wine tastings.

THE RUNDOWN
Know how the day before you go on vacation you find it hard to concentrate, get anything done, or fend off the the urges to go ahead and start drinking? That's me today. Nonetheless, I am a pro, and thus will still offer up three hours of barely above average radio drivel.

5:40 - The Reds have an intrasquad scrimmage tomorrow, which the public is not allowed to. C. Trent and I will scientifically break it down.

-Harang to start the Opener. This seems newsworthy, even though it isn't.
-UC's game last night, judging by the blog from this morning (scroll down) will come up.
-XU v. Fordham. Has any school ever brought less to a league than Fordham?
-UK v. Georgia. Can Kentucky continue to fight off boredom? UK has me rethinking one football v. hoops comparison.
-John Daly is a jerk.
-Guns in the locker room. I think they should be allowed.
-Jessica Burciaga in the locker room. I think she should be allowed.

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THIS MEANS THE BEARCATS WILL MAKE IT, RIGHT?

NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams

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JOHN DALY. CLASS GUY.
He's upset about this. So he decided to handle it like this.

Speaking of class guys, there's Mark McGwire's brother.

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This site is corny, but kinda cool.

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Good God, could you imagine Canadian fans had their team lost?

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VEGAS MAGAZINE > CINCINNATI MAGAZINE
Cincinnati Magazine has pictures of people and stuff from Cincinnati. Vegas Magazine has Marissa Miller. Advantage: Vegas.

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I'm a huge LeBron guy, but I'm not dumb enough to think that LeBron James changing his number is all about honoring MJ.

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NEW BLOG FEATURE.
Going to start a new feature on the blog today. It's called "The Idiotic Email of the Week, and the Brief Response." It'll be a weekly segment where I pick one and only one email from an idiot and respond. Today's email comes from frequent contributor to the idiot inbox, Tony the Racist. Writes Tony:

Luke Scott of the Orioles admits to bringing guns into the clubhouse. Where's the outrage from the media? HHHHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMm.....i wonder if the media will blame this on Hip-hop or rock-n-roll music?

Tony, thanks for contributing as always. Let's see if I can help. Let's explore the differences between the two cases.
1) Luke Scott's firearms were licensed. Gilbert Arenas' were not.
2) Luke Scott hides his weapon. Gilbert waved his around during a fight.
3) Scott has expressed his disagreement with the rules prohibiting guns in clubhouses. He also he's just recently been made away of them and he says he'll abide by them. Arenas, when caught, mocked the entire situation.

Now should Major League Baseball take a look into whether Luke Scott violated their policy prohibiting guns from the workplace? Yes. Is a punishment necessary? Perhaps. And do I think there's some credence to the argument that players, facing more threats, more intrusion, overzealous fans, and flat-out creepy people that we'd ever realize, should be given the chance to protect themselves where they are more likely to be found than any other place? Absolutely. And is it silly to blame what Gilbert Arenas and his crappy teammate did on music? Yes.

But should Luke Scott be put under the same spotlight at Gilbert, media or otherwise? No.

Thank you for reading "The Idiotic Email of the Week, and the Brief Response." Come back next Wednesday for more. This segment is available for sponsorship.

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THE GIRLS OF VILLANOVA
I've been hanging onto this for a few days, and I meant to link to it yesterday since, you know, UC played Villanova. But since I'm easily the most disorganized person on the planet I forgot. I'm guessing somehow you figured out a way to make it through the day. Anyway, here you go.

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In a failed attempt to make actual news, the Reds today announced that Aaron Harang will be the Opening Day starter. Your average Opening Day fan might see a grand total of four of his pitches.

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A FEW MO' THINGS, 3/3/10 EDITION
I used to work out. I stopped for three reasons. A) Gym memberships are expensive and insanely hard to cancel. B) I'm not doing anything on my own volition. That would require effort. C) The place I did work out had no one who looked like this.

I can't think of another team that's frustrated me more than this UC basketball team.
*They shutout Scottie Reynolds in the first half. Then he scores 17 in the second.
*They battle all the way back from down 16 with 6:19 to go. They cut it to one. Lance Stephenson kills the momentum with a dumb foul.
*They get open looks and don't convert. Reggie Redding gets an open look, bounces one off the rim, and it f***ing goes in.
*Larry Davis starts playing well enough that you think you can count on him. Then he goes 0-5 last night.
*Yancy Gates takes a step forward. He goes 7-7 from the line. But he grabs one defensive rebound.
*The Bearcats shoot 53% on their 36 field goal attempts inside the arc. But they shoot 30 threes. And make seven.
*They play a decent game. They scratch, claw and play like a team with a lot at stake. They look somewhat cohesive on offense. They still lose.

Frustrating.

Losing to Villanova is understandable. So is losing to West Virgina. Here's the problem, and it's been my issue all year...they've haven't done enough to soften the blow of losing games against the better teams in the league and the country. As they fell to 16-13 and 7-10 in the league, and fell to the lower end of that middle of the pack in the league that's been talked about so much, my mind kept drifting to the St. John's, Seton Hall, Notre Dame, and South Florida losses. If this program is ever gonna separate itself from the middle of the pack, it has to start beating those teams it's bunched up with there.

Separate the league into three parts, based on how the standings look today...

The elite. The top four teams in the standings: UC is 0-4 against them.
The bottom feeders. The bottom four: UC is 3-1 against them. Survivable.
The middle of the pack. The seven teams (minus UC) in the middle: UC is 4-5.

That record doesn't cut it. The disappointing thing about this year has been the inability to beat the teams that they either should or at least can, especially on the road. You win enough of those game, you can handle losing to Villanova and the better teams in the league. You don't, and you end up where UC is right now, nearing the end of a season of extreme frustration.

-Couple of other things....
*Yes, the officiating blew. It's also blown all season in college basketball. There were two blatantly bad calls against the Bearcats. Know what? Make some damn shots. What I liked though, was Mick rode the refs as hard as I've ever seen him, picking up a T, doing what he could to get another, and delivering one profane salvo after another in the direction of the men in stripes. It really didn't work, but this coach, has to figure out a way, in a league with hellacious coaches, to figure out a way to get some leeway with the refs.

That being said, you can't go there in the postgame show. Not for the second straight game. Not with everybody waiting to pounce on your every word. "I'm proud of my guys, Scottie Reynolds is a heck of a player, etc." Go with that. Not "They lead the league in fouls, but we had more called on us..." Even there's some truth to it, that's not how you handle it. Not right now.

Mick also mentioned the Big East scheduling. That too, was weak. The league gave you the tougher teams at home, which is where you want them.

*There was a large sign unfurled last night that mentioned Mick's record after February 14th and made a reference to "Mick's March Sadness." I get the sentiment. I share the frustration, and I understand that there are only so many ways to directly express your feelings. Still though, the sign, which was confiscated, was large, and impossible not to notice, even if it was only up for 15 seconds. It was specifically designed to embarrass Mick. I've got my beefs with the job the coach has done this season which has been a failure, but there's no need to embarrass the guy.

The bigger problem though for UC is that the sign wasn't in the student section (though I saw at least two signs get taken away from students), it was about eight to ten rows up in the big money seats. If those three guys with the sign are showing it, many like them, with money to spend, and tickets and donations to make decisions about, have to be feeling it. Not good.

*It's really hard to ignore the fact that Mick Cronin is 4-22 after February 14th.

*It's really hard to ignore that Mick Cronin is 0-11 in March.

*It's really hard to ignore the fact that this team is not even a lock right now to make the NIT.

*There was almost no one in the place for Senior Night, which sucked. Granted, this wasn't like when we said goodbye to Kenyon, Pete, and Jermaine, but still, Deonta Vaughn and Steve Toyloy deserved to have most people in their seats when they were honored. I've been to Senior Night at some other places, and it seems like there's more of a concentrated effort to have people in place for the ceremony. Last night, it just kinda started happening. UC needs to get the word out and inform people when festivities will begin and make it a slightly bigger production.

-For all of the questions, finger-pointing, legal jargon, and uncertainty of the NFL labor situation. It comes down to this...an organization that collected $8.83 BILLION in revenue last year can't find a way to divvy it up. That's staggering.

-The Reds should take a page from this idea. Have tax prep people take your stuff when you walk in, do your taxes as you watch the game, give you your return and refund info when you leave.

-Here's a pretty good look at some of the better and worst college basketball venues, in honor of Freedom Hall closing. Even if it has the unfriendliest ushers ever, Freedom Hall is still a great place.

-Solid work by this air traffic controller.

-This is just cool.

Mike DeCoursey on Big East officiating...

The Big East needs an officiating summit. The crew working this game included Final Four veteran John Cahill and veterans Michael Stephens and Bryan Kersey, and still this became yet another conference game that was called unevenly, with no pace, rhythm or rhyme.
They called a wide-open first half in which airborne shooters were fair game for just about any pounding defenders wanted to issue. Only 14 free throws were attempted between the two teams.
In the second half, both teams were a foul away from the bonus before five minutes had passed. They shot a combined 42 free throws. The second half took about 77 minutes to play.
This is the league that reportedly dumped two officials from its tournament because of errors in the Louisville-West Virginia game. This is the league that had a Villanova-Louisville regulation game last more than 2½ hours because of 77 personal fouls called. This is the league in which a poorly reffed West Virginia-UConn game led to techs on both coaches, an ejection for WVU's Bob Huggins and this post-game statement from UConn coach Jim Calhoun:
"I have no control over officials," he said. "I don't assign them. I don't blow the whistle for them, certainly. I'm not sure what is a foul anymore in the Big East. I have no idea. I complain about it, but I don't know which way they're all going."

-Some friends of mine and I are headed to St. Louis to watch the Reds in May. Cardinals tickets go on sale Friday. Their pricing structure isn't what I'd call simple. Or cheap.

Ali Larter needs more run. More later. Going to sell some crap to pay for tomorrow's trip to spring training.

THE RUNDOWN
Rough day, I've gotten nasty emails today about my Calipari joke, the people-wanting-to-have sex-with-a-horse video from yesterday, the fact that I called professional awful mom Kate Gosselin a "broad," my Wall/Cousins joke, the fact that I like Deonta Vaughn, and Chad being on Dancing With the Stars. People are in a bad mood today, and my self-esteem has taken a huge hit because of it. I might just devote a portion of the show to callers who can soothe my self-confidence.

-Why the combine discourse doesn't matter.
-Chad. DWTS. Yeah.
-The NCAA expansion
-The new NFL OT proposal.
-Deonta Vaughn is the greatest basketball player ever. OK maybe not, but still we gotta throw him some on Senior Night.
-Why do Reds ticket takers have to sign a confidentiality agreement?
-Would you call what Denise Milani is wearing "pants?"

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THE INEVITABLE IS ABOUT TO ARRIVE. PART ONE.
Anna Kournikova is set to appear in Playboy.

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THE INEVITABLE IS ABOUT TO ARRIVE. PART TWO.
Even though fans don't want it to happen, the NCAA Tournament will expand. The networks want it. Coaches want it. ADs want it. So yeah, I'd say it's probably gonna happen.

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Finally, an Olympian we can relate to.

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THANK GOD THEY CLEARED THAT UP
The NFL Network now says the USC's Taylor Mays ran the 40-yard dash in 4.43 seconds, and not 4.24 seconds. And they say the NFL Network isn't worth getting. So happy I can proceed with my day now.

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WHAT DO THESE TEAMS HAVE IN COMMON?
From listener Mike....
Patriots, Colts, Ravens, Saints, Vikings, Steelers, Giants, Eagles, Panthers, Cardinals?

Two things....

1) They have been either Super Bowl champs, Super Bowl participants, or are perennial playoff contenders year in and year out.
2) You don't see players on those teams on shows like Dancing With the Stars.

Just sayin'.

Nicole Scherzinger will be on the show, so I'm not sure I can blame Chad. Would you rather spend the spring with her or Bob Bratkowski? If I'm Dhani Jones, I'd rather be running from bulls or eating eyeballs or whatever he does on the Travel Channel show which I actually like. Still though, dude's got a point.

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CALIPARI SAYS "GO AHEAD AND PLAY YOUR SILLY LITTLE ZONE."
And if that doesn't work, the UK coach suggests having someone play it for you. Call it the Derek Rose strategy. Yeah, I went there. It's a joke. A bad one, but a joke nonetheless. Pre-emptively, lighten up. Ha ha. Funny right? Like how people joke about Mama Cass dying from choking on a ham sandwich even though she really didn't? No? Oh well. Anyway, here's the story about UK playing against a zone.

Speaking of Coach Cal, this dude has him on his list of Coach of the year candidates.

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TODAY'S EDITION OF STUFF I WISH I WAS THERE FOR.
Statepocolypse seemed pretty incredible.

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YOU OBLIGATORY PICTURE OF NICOLE SCHERZINGER
She'll be on Dancing With the Stars. So will Chad OchoCinco. Neither person's presence will make the show watchable. Nicole is incredible though, so the highlights might be worthwhile.

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Man, those winter Olympics (remember them?) were scandalous.

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A FEW MO' THINGS, 3/2/10 EDITION
Chad OchoCinco will be appearing on the completely unwatchable Dancing With The Stars. Kym Johnson is on that show. So is that broad from Jon and Kate, so take the word "stars" with a grain of salt.

I have never had less of an opinion than on something than I do Chad being on Dancing With the Stars. Sorry.

-Deonta Vaughn's final home game is tonight. He's had a disappointing senior season. He's also had a pretty damn good career, playing with players who weren't close to being in the same league, being asked to do more than he ever should have, yo-yo-ing between point guard and two-guard, thrown into the fire as a freshman, playing with players at different times who didn't care nearly as much as he did. He never complained, never sold his guys out, never left, never made excuses. He's deserved better this season. He deserves a standing O tonight.

-Lotta talk about the NHL carrying the momentum from the Olympics. Won't happen. The FCI for the average NHL game is $301. (Four tickets, two beers, two sodas, two hot dogs, etc...). For baseball, it's $196. The average Major League ticket is $26. In the NHL, it's $51. It's an elitist sport, much like the NBA, but without the visibility on well-known TV outlets. If the game is going to grow, it needs to be made more accessible to people, especially families in NHL cities.

-Love Marvin Lewis hammering the prep work that goes into the combine. You want a football player or a workout freak? I'll take a football player.

-Pawn Stars last night. Dude brings in a flamethrower. Tremendous.

-Here's a look at John Daly's PGA Tour personnel file.

-We've all seen Drunk Guy at a Wedding. Hell, I've been Drunk Guy at a Wedding. Here's a look inside the mind of Drunk Guy at a Wedding.

-Here's a look inside the mind of the "I'm a M*****F****r" bus beatdown guy. You may not want to watch this one at work or with your kid sitting on your lap.

-Here's a look inside the mind of Nikki Moser.

-Here's some Major Leaguers you should pretend to be upset about.

-Sometimes a Jessica Biel or a Rose McGowan decides to play a stripper in a movie. Then, what'll happen is that someone will put those appearances in YouTube. Then, someone will compile a collection of those clips. This is the result of all of those efforts.

In a related item, Anne Hathaway is going nude for a movie.

-The Prime Minister of Canada has good taste.

-This guy says UK is going to honor junior Patrick Patterson on Senior Night. Why don't they just honor Wall and Cousins while they're at it?

-Jim Bunning is kind of a dilweed.

-This chick from The Bachelor has a sex tape. Read about it here. I'm going to Dunkin' Donuts.

ROSIE JONES.
Make your own rosie palms joke. Here she is.

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WHAT DOES ONE PUT ON THEIR RESUME TO BE A BALLBOY?
The Orioles are taking applications. They're requesting you bring wear a business suit and bring a resume. I have no idea what type of work experience you need to be a ballboy I'm thinking about applying. I wonder if they'd let me work when the O's have night games.

And how come more teams don't have ballgirls?

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Chad Ocho Cinco is going to be on Dancing With The Stars. Nonetheless, my streak of never having watched will remain intact.

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Couple of things from CBS that there's not chance you'd find had you not come here...Gregg Doyel casts his POY vote for Evan Turner. Gary Parrish says XU/Richmond was the best game of the weekend.

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WII CURLING LOOKS FUN.

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People hate DeMarcus Cousins. And this guy doesn't like it.

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OLIVIA MUNN. JEZEBEL MAGAZINE.
The woman can rock a pantsuit.

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Here's a look at whether college basketball officials are worked too hard.

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This is pretty cool. Check out what 34,616 fans filing in and out, and a college basketball game look like in one minute.

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THE TREE > LAVERANEUS COLES
Can we just cut Coles so I can stop having to go back and check out the spelling of his first name? I'm not even bothering to check this time. He blows. Anyway, here's the answer to the question "how would Carson Palmer fare in the army?"

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THIS IS WHY I DON'T GO TO THE TRACK THAT OFTEN
I like betting the ponies, I do. Problem is, the people. Sometimes you'll see people there who you know are just pissing away their kids school lunch money to take the four hour in the ninth race. Or you'll get a guy who hasn't bathed since Secretariat won the Derby. There's normal people like myself of course, just trying to earn some drinking money. And there's also people sizing up the horses so they can have sex with them while their wives watch. Careful for the language at the end of this video and good luck finding people weirder than these two. Perhaps we now know who centaurs are made.

I also had a pretty good inner dialogue before I posted this as I debated whether anyone will ever take the opinions of a guy who links to a video of people describing sex with horses seriously. Then I remembered who I was, got off my high horse (pun intended) and told myself that people take Melissa Rivers' opinions on Hollywood fashion more seriously than mine, then I told myself to shut the eff up and link to the damn video.

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WHY LIMIT THIS TO JUST THE PLAYOFFS?
The NFL is considering a modification to its overtime rules for playoff games next year. The proposal isn't perfect, but is at least an acknowledgment that the current system sucks. My question: why change how the game is played for the playoffs? NFL games mean so much, why not take whatever reform they'd approve and apply to to the regular season?

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A FEW MO' THINGS, 3/1/10 EDITION
In a nod to Canada's hockey gold, here's Canadian actress Tricia Helfer.

I think the American thing to do right now is to complain about the rules. Four on four hockey in overtime? What's that? Would you play ten on ten in overtime in the American sport of football? Would you remove a fielder in the tenth inning of a baseball game? And what's this sudden death crap? We don't get a chance to even things up? We don't do that in basketball. Fraudulent sport.

Seriously, phenomenal game yesterday. Crap result, but incredible event. Dogs in Sharonville are still barking in reaction to my loud, high-pitched yelp when the Americans tied it in the last minute of regulation. As much as I wanted us to win (in the Olympics, you're allowed to say "us"), I was kinda satisfied with the result. The game was incredible, and the scene afterward, with the exception of the dude who conducted incredibly long postgame interviews, was really, really cool.

If we win, we're happy. We talk high-five, talk hockey for a day, and move on. The game ended yesterday,I looked at my wife, informed her that the game was over, and we went and grabbed dinner. If we were Canadians, we would've helped each other commit suicide.

In Canada, the national obsession with the sport, and with winning the gold, meant the reaction, either way, would be over the top. It just means more to them than it ever will here. To see that country enjoy the crap out of that win is pretty cool. Plus, we can live knowing that in any other sport we care about, the competition wouldn't be close.

-Great game at the Cintas Center yesterday. Terrell Holloway was large, especially in the second overtime. The Muskies, against a team that refused to go away, overcame a game where they got nothing from any bench player not named Mark Lyons, another disappearing act in a big game by Dante Jackson, and far too many turnovers, because Jason Love is a clutch rebounder, because Terrell Holloway played an incredible stretch of basketball on both ends in crunch time, and because Jordan Crawford is the A-10 player of the year.

Is there any doubt after yesterday? Jordan didn't really even play well after halftime. After starting six for nine, he made two of his last 13 shots, had some chances to make plays offensively down the stretch, and didn't, and lost his man often defensively. But after a rough afternoon, with 1:50 left in the first OT, with Richmond up two and playing with confidence, he pulls off one of the best steals you'll see, stripping the ball from David Gonzalvez, going the length of the floor, drawing a help defender, getting the ball at the rim, and setting up Jason Love for a huge put-back, which tied the game. The steal, by a guy who's made a name with offensive heroics in big situations erased any doubt about who should get the hardware with one steal.

-I sat next to a bad NBA GM at the game yesterday. Friendly guy, who didn't mind me poking fun at one of his moves from about a decade ago. I asked him for his assessment of Jordan Crawford. He wasn't kind.

"Pro scorer...I don't understand why he's so slump shouldered....he's a lazy help defender and needs to show more interest in rebounding....knows how to create separation off the dribble, but has to be quicker getting a shot off coming off a screen....watches the ball too much on defense."

Is there a spot for him in the league?

"Sure."

Should he stay in school?

"I would say so."

How about Jason Love?

"I liked Love more than I thought I would....not sure where he'd play or if he could help you much offensively....skills are still too limited but guys like him tend to show you a little more in predrafts (camps)...I liked how he quarterbacked the defense."

While you're in town, you gonna go take a look at Steve Toyloy?

"Who's Steve Toyloy?

How could you have traded (name of player I'm not allowed to mention because I promised I wouldn't reveal the crappy GM's identity)?

"You're only the seven millionth person to ask me that."

-Losses are losses. I don't believe in moral victories, especially in late February, but the Bearcats showed me something Saturday. Well, most of the Bearcats did. It helps when you make shots, which UC did early, but the Bearcats showed some fight, defended their balls off most of the game, disrupted West Virginia, and yes, much as it might pain you to admit it, Mick Cronin coached a pretty good game on Saturday.

Two things stood out, other than the 400 lb. cheerleader, more Bearcat offensive ineffectiveness in the second half, the hot national anthem singer, and the amount of washed up cougars trying to look hot in the crowd in Morgantown...

*Yancy Gates. The kid simply doesn't give a crap. That's the only conclusion I can draw after watching him play 20 minutes of foul-plauged college basketball without a rebound. It was the fourth game in the last six that's seen him, at 6'9" fail to grab a defensive rebound. Rebounding is effort. Yancy shows none. He doesn't give a rat's ******. I'm not sure he ever will.

*Officiating. Not in the sense that the Bearcats were robbed the officials, though there were two just brutal calls that had an impact...Gates' third foul and Vaughn's fourth. That crew was brutal, and both coaches, at times, had legitimate gripes. Here's the issue...Bob Huggins gets to air his gripes. The dude is a master at manipulating refs...awesome when you're rooting for him, annoying when you're not, but still, a huge part of coaching. It's amazing though, Mick can't barely get a word in with the refs. He calls them over, the walk away. When they do approach him, they're confrontational. I've seen this a lot the last four years. The other guys get some leeway...they make their point, scream, curse, then when the official has had enough they let the coach know. The other coaches are allowed to go to the line without crossing it. Mick is never given a chance to approach it. Saturday, I think he tried to get a T, throwing his coat. The ref closest to him had his back turned. Another was watching the cheerleaders. The other was talking to Huggs.

It's not a complaint and it's not an excuse. On a list of issues UC has, not getting breaks from the refs is way, way down on the list. It's an observation. Mick will have to win to get the respect of the men in stripes, and when you're coaching against the guys he is in the Big East, you're gonna get the short end more often than not, but the extent to which the officials go to ignore him creates a disadvantage for a team that already has enough of them.

-Not woth overreacting to UK's loss. Tough turnaround. Tough opponent. Tough place to play. They're 27-2. I wish my teams had such problems. John Calipari was upset some of his guys slept through the game and second guessed himself afterward.

-The player of the year debate has been pretty hot. I'm a John Wall guy, not in the sense that I'm overly convinced that he should win most of the 287 player of the year awards, but that I love watching him play, and I'd pick him first if I was picking a team. Still though, it's hard to ignore what Evan Turner does on a consistent basis. His line on Saturday:

18/11/7/1/4

That's 18 points, 11 boards, 7 assists, a steal, and 4 blocks. He had eight turnovers. John Wall is a turnover machine. When you're asked to do what Evan is asked by Ohio State, you're gonna live with some turnovers.

Here's the award I think might be as much, if not more deserving: Thad Matta for national coach of the year. The Buckeyes are set up to win the Big Ten, could move into the top five, and have a chance for maybe a two seed, and maybe a one isn't altogether unreasonable. He has Turner, and yes Buford and Lighty are decent enough players, but that is not top ten talent. I doubt he wins it, but he should get serious, serious consideration.

-I would live to give Kjell Bracke some serious, serious, consideration.

-Brandon Phillips will hit fourth. Debating lineup construction in March, or at all is mind-numbing.

-So are discussing Mardy Gilyard's 40 times. Mardy can play football. That's what I care about.

-I like what Chris Dickerson did, talking about his role on the team. I know Dusty doesn't, but I like a guy willing to put a little pressure on himself. Now, he has to give his manager something to think about on the field.

-Way to go, Vancouver. You staged the drunkest Olympics ever. Nicely done.

-From James Walker....

I talked to three league insiders at the combine about Lewis' situation and two felt he could definitely land a head-coaching job elsewhere in 2011. The third believed the uncertainty with the CBA and a potential lockout would be Lewis' biggest hurdle. But otherwise, Lewis could quickly land on his feet if he left Cincinnati.

-Everyone just spent two weeks piling on NBC for its Olympics coverage. Wonder if anyone will applaud their coverage of yesterday's hockey game.

-Crap like this is why I have almost zero interest in the NFL combine.

-Nothing worse than a gomer.

-My wife sat in my favorite UC hat yesterday. I'm still mildly annoyed.

-This chick is awesome.

-On my drive to Morgantown, I heard high school wrestling on the radio. That's right, wrestling. And I heard a guy doing a talk show over the phone from a hotel room. I feel like I'll always, some way, some how, have work.